The Monstar with the Good Hair.

Ok. So another convo down in the books with Monstar.

Allow me to re-introduce himself... Monstar is a rap video producer I've known for some years now. He's stands at a good 6'8" (those tall ones, boy I tell ya) anyways... Light skinned with braids down his back.... He does the Jim Jones videos and what not. Great guy all around, an unlike a few men that I know, Monstar is real. How he is now, is how he was then, and how he'll be later on. He's not up and down, and when he speaks, it's final, he doesn't come back and changes his mind later.

Ok so now you know him too.

In one of our many in depth convo's we were discussing the genetic makeup of kids. Monstar, being of mixed race (huh?) has 2 kids by a chic of mixed race as well. Which got me to questionin (him).
Why?

Well with freedom in mind, I wasn't shocked when he said "I prefer light skinned woman..." And then it happened. He went on to say... Plus I wanted my kids to have "good hair.... I don't want no nappy headed kids." ***big sigh***
I'm not gonna take you to where our convo went after that, but let's just say that, that convo was a good 3 days ago, I've spoken to Monstar everyday since and I still can't get it out of my head.

So... It got me to thinking....

Since when does good hair mean it's from a white person? My daughter has locs, and to me she is beautiful with them. When she was born and until the age of 5 she had very long, down her back, curly hair. That of my Mohawk Shinecok Indian grandmother. But at her request, and from her admiration of my sisters locs, she wanted them too. Hell I want some too now. But getting back on track...

It bothered me ALOT to see or hear him say that good hair comes from that of a mixed breed and that black hair was nappy. And bad. I thought about my serious crush on Don Chedle. That man is black as hell and his hair is nappy as shit. Nevamind the receeding hairline. But sexy, yes!!! And I'd gladly take him over any man with "good hair!"

Good hair to me is a mane that is well taken care of. Washed. Groomed. Hell, it doesn't have to be styled. Just clean. And to subject your child to "oh I wanted a baby by her because she had good hair, I got good hair, and I want my kids to have good hair.... Come on!!!

I want my baby to be happy with the person she is. In no way shape or form am I going to interfere with that without her permission. If she says "mommy, I want to look like a princess, and I need you to stock up on some tutu's for me" I'm there. Tutu's and pixie dust comin right up.

Hair has no preference on greatness. Phuck! Look at Albert Einstein. Don King look like a damn fool, but he know how to make good money. And lookie here... Paris Hilton: "good hair" but dumb as a phuckin door knob. The majority of serial killers:"good hair" ... Bush stupid ass, "good hair" .... Now let's list some "nappy heads"

Angela Basset
Oprah
Prince
Lebron
Denzel
Michelle Obama
if it wasn't for Harriet Tubman and Martin Luther Kings nappy headed asses, Monstar wouldn't exist.

But I would.

Bottom line. Wanting what you think is good or better than everybody else, might not be the way out. But what you think is bad, just might turn out to be the best.

S.
A nappyheaded blogger.

Creatively,
Scarlett

Sent from my iPhone

Just for the sake of saying I updated this one .... He He He

Still a work in progress..............


JONZI

Never an emcee
But I cee-em
They don't see me
and Wonder like Stevie be
Rivers fallen
Niagara up-flows the river.
Beats produced like "Fresh"
uploaded hearts quiver
Quivers like "Ice Cold"
"Ice Cold" like 3G
up close like 3D
ya Million Dollar Baby

like you
Morgan freed me
More than need be (got me)
Stumped, like trees be (u can)
Take everything I have
Like you,
homeless needed me (and I was)
Shocked like the middle track
"Crazed" like 14
Relasped like a double take
and it was 4-seen

Your my God like
Selassie I
You silenced the eyes
My visions faded like you
Jamie Foxx played it
But you
see right through me
Like U X-rayed it
We get x-rated
hooked,
like you went fishin
and then Master Baited it!

Motions back and forth
Like we debated it
and Denzel played it in
I come again and again
like you syndicated it!
and your my Royalties
and I'm your Royal Tease.

Then we get elevated
He knows Im educated
he gets the Brain
I take the test
And then he grades it
plus I get extra credit
other scores,
extra "dead it"
cause WE is not Wii
no dice or "Chance" gets it
and this aint "Parker Brother"
but I said "Park it Brotha."
Like I'm his Valet
showed him the "Hidden Valley"
Like my salads tossed.
He gets it at no cost.
he said "Whats the bonus?"
I said
"Free lip gloss" (LMAO!)
I wide receive him like
my name was Randy Moss.......

He made it big now
Yeah like the N F L
Big like a L F N
my daughters name is F L N
Yeah I know I'm sick wit
Like I "Swine" hit it.
My flow is so lethal..
that I "O J" did it
I opens my mouth
and then I
"acid spits" it.......


LMAO!!!! thats enough, I can go on with this one for days.....

Muse-ick to My Ears.

Project 6....
I was approached with a preposition to what may be a once in a lifetime shot, at being able to get Scarlett from behind the pen and into the ears of those who are willing to listen.

FULLCIRCLE as DanaDane would say it.
Have you ever heard the expression "it's not the destination, it's the journey"? You might be back where you started, but you've got more experiences than you had before you started. I started out as a writer, I want to finish as one. Learning from everything in between, strengthening as I go around... Seems like a never-ending journey, but a journey I'm not only destined to travel but willing to make. Looking at this circle, and at my 7 year old, it has to get completed. The first mission is to tighten this circle, and with that, people, places, and things will get eliminated. Oh well.

The Muse-ick:
And so he said to me: "When I see someone with the wonderful talent that you have, it is my honor, and duty to help that person reach their full potential."

SOLD!

I myself try to bring out the best in people, sadly, whether they like it or not, and had NEVER had anyone do that for me, not even from the man(men) that have "claimed" to love me so. Nor from family. For this one man's effort, and belief in me I am honored and grateful. Even though I did think he was trying to IKE me at first. And for his courage to come forth with his inspirations in me, I owe him the opportunity to at least give it a shot.
Strangely, when I speak to him, I myself become inspired. Optimistic qualities within a person is a weak spot of mine. I feed off of it, it nurtures me in a way that I have never been fed...
So on that note, A BITCH BOUT TO SCRAPE THE PLATE!!!

S.

Location, Location, Location

Okay, so the journey begins.

"It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one's dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank and independent."
~W. Somerset Maugham

Of course, I would quote Somerset.
But that particular quote, ALL ME! I don't ask for much. Been on the web all day. I have a "To Do List" now. Simple, but never been a needed thing for me until now. Limited to a few items.

Relocation.
Top priority. First and foremost, deciding where I want to go. The baby wants to go to Atlanta. Yeah Atlanta's nice, convenient, we have family there. Charlotte, I thought was nice, till my BFF, whom just recently moved there, hates it. HMMMM. So my goal for tomorrow is Location, Location, Location..... I love the snow, winter is fantastic, Atlanta can't give me that. Charlotte provides a median of the two... but with the economy now? (I'm so sick of everything having to relate to the economy now in order to be evaluated.) I always wanted to live in a open area. Lots of land. Peace and quiet.

Next on my to do list is re-mapping my Advertising Portfolio. It hasn't been updated in a few years. That's sure to be a lot of FUN. Well I guess this is more less a "Status Blog" than a "Politics" one huh? Location, Location, Location.

Coming soon to a city near you. (Maybe)

"Harpo! Who dis woman?"

Politics:

Freedom vs: Love


FREEDOM: (Political) – is the absence of interference with the sovereignty of an individual by the use of coercion or aggression.

LOVE: - In short, a range of emotions and experience related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction.

And so I speak.
In term, freedom basically is the idea of being free. It stems from an old Indo-European root word, freedom, that they also used to describe as “to love.”
So as I sit here typing to you, basking in all of my freedom, I question my question on Love and Freedom and it’s relations, or Love and Freedom and my relations.
Those of you that are familiar with my writings, know that in the recent months, I have been talking in regards to a Mr. Foe. That’s Mr. Won D. Foe to you. A young man with whom I am, well, I really don’t know what you would call what we do. Any how, Mr. Foe has brought to my attention on several occasions, his freedom.
Now those of you that know me on a more personal level, know how I am, especially when it comes to and involvement of man, and MY freedom.

And so you listen.
It’s pretty rough talking to Mr. Foe about things so that’s why I have you guys…
For the most part I have been a free bird for the entire run thus far. Being a single mom hasn’t taken away from any of my freedom. What has happened is that now, I know how to prioritize my freedom. Or what us moms call it, “mommy time.” So right now it’s “mommy time” and I am talking to you. Life as I seek it, has a husband, that I am submissive to, children that I love and care for, and me that I adore. My Love, well it’s Mr. Foe. I have done the best that I can to allow myself, my life and my love, along with my freedom, to blossom into a perspective that is good enough for him to become his mate and prosper and continue together.
But that’s not enough.
Mr. Foe on the other hand, enjoys his freedom to the point where it replaces love. Fear that being with me makes him an un-free bird. Is my love that sheltering? Why should I give all of my love away to someone that would only use it at a convenience.
Love vs. Freedom, we are free to love. But we receive love at a cost? A cost that I pay for now. A cost that has me involved with someone that I care for, adore, wish to cherish eternally, marry, with no set predictions. No limits. But freedom is in the way.
Trust that fully understand freedom and all of its meanings. But having no limits to love, I myself am not free of love, therefore, trapped within my own freedom. How long can one go on loving freely, but receiving at a cost?
My relationship with Mr. Foe, seems far from real and closer to imaginary. I love him, he says he loves me, I want to be with him, he says he wants to be with me but he just likes his freedom right now he says and not ready to make that move. Not putting his business out there, Mr. Foe has had a little relationship miss-hap more than 5 years back, that he says to still be recovering from. 5 years, I wonder sometimes, is that how long it is going to take for him to come around? 5 years? How can the best thing that has happened to me in the last year be the most confusing? How can the one thing in life, freedom, that I should cherish being a Black Female, be the one thing that keeps me from whom I want to cherish?
I have given myself several time limits. Limits on love, limits on freedom, all of which, for my freedom, I have broken. Realizing now that I can not wait on freedom to love me, hold me, tell me it misses me, wants to see me.
Waiting for that to happen, I might as well lock myself up and throw away the key and say:

“To hell with freedom!!”

Politics:

The Black Father vs. The Absentee Ballot

The Black Father: Well for argument sake, we'll discuss my daughters Black Father.

The Absentee Ballot: a vote cast by someone who is unable or unwilling to attend the polling station.

And so I speak.
To the best of my knowledge, when I had my daughter and filed out the information for her birth certificate, I don't recall there being a slot for the absentee Dad. Please check here.

The Black Father has been an absentee throughout my entire life. I know him, we speak, but a relationship more than friends is out out of the question. At 30 I don't know where "running to Daddy" fits in my day to day. And being raised by my brother is a experience that I would never trade in. Losing him 4 years ago, felt like losing a brother and a Dad at the same time. So I sympathize for my baby. Having an absentee Dad herself. And trust that I am far from what any man would catagorize a Baby Mama. I don't nag him. I don't ask for anything. For the past 7 years there has never been a diaper request, a pick-up request, nothing. In fact our conversations consist of me saying: "Hello... Yeah...what time?...okay" 'click'... Only to realize that is was a waste of my 45 seconds because he never shows up. So within his absence, I cover for him, feeling sorry for my Baby, I picked this man. So her having him as a Dad is partially my fault. So I make up for
what I think she lacks in him. Being raised by a man 3 years my elder, pretty much kept me in tune with the male psychie. I can explain sports to her. (I pray she hates baseball-I do) I do the early morning fishing trips. I gets my cargo shorts, tight tee skateboard game on. We go bike-riding. She collect ants alone, but I watch. LOL.

But in reality, no matter how much I try, I cannot fill that void. To her she does all these things with Mommy true, but when he calls, her eyes light up, she gets shy, I look on with envy. Knowing that he will never love her like I do. Knowing that when he says "Daddy is gonna get you today" it's a lie. And she waits by the door. With an outfit that took her an hour to pick out, (she throws on any damn thing for me) she wants to look her best.

Funny how even in relations we are alike. Her interest in her Dad is similar with my interest with Mr. Foe. No matter how much we try, our love for the man in our life goes un-noticed. Her Dad can give a rats ass how much she cares for him, and as far as me and Mr. Foe, as hard as I try, my efforts continue to show no progress. Hence in his efforts or better yet lack of.

So maybe I've passed on the curse of convenience to her. She craves for a Dad and I desire a complete family. No closer to it than where we began.....


(e)